Marty’s Muse
Something to think about …
Aug 2009“The Cisco Kid was a friend of mine…”*
Okay, I admit it. I love old movies, the detectives and mysteries, film noire, black-and-white TV shows, old radio drama. Watching “The Cisco Kid” the other day got me thinking about how important dialogue is to good story telling. Well-written dialogue makes your story flow like one of the Bard’s plays. Poorly-written dialogue doesn’t. The trick is to convey a natural, realistic conversation while loading your dialogue with meaning, providing important information without sounding mechanical. It should sound like people talking, and it should enhance the story.
Right. So what are some guidelines, some dos and don’ts to look out for? Here’s a “Lucky 13” of what I’ve gleaned from a number of different sources (given in no particular order):
1. Dialogue in which everyone speaks perfectly grammatical English doesn’t work even in an historical novel set in England.
2. Dialogue sets the tone, pace and dramatic intent of a scene; it should move the story along. Whenever possible, use dialogue rather than exposition to reveal back-story or to set the stage. But don’t over-do it; keep it short and to the point.
3. Dialogue should reveal something about your characters.
4. Dialogue should stimulate the readers' curiosity or create tension. Axe dialogue that doesn’t move the story forward, that doesn’t advance theme and plot.
5. Make sure the reader (and you!) knows who is talking.
- Long dialogue or passages without Attributives (speaker tags; he said/she said) can be confusing. Identify the speaker early on, either when setting the scene or when the character first speaks.
- However, sometimes attributives are not necessary, and only serve to clutter the page. This is true in simple short exchanges between two characters. Once you have identified the speakers, you can drop the tags, as long as the exchange isn’t long. More than two characters, use tags frequently, except, as before, when you have short exchanges between only two characters.
- Attributives should not interrupt the flow of the dialogue in awkward ways or places. [exercise: move the attributive to different places in this sentence: “It was an awkward placement of the attributive,” she said. You’ll see what I mean.
6. Avoid “Tom Swifties”—the over-use of adverbials (adjectives and adverbs). There’s nothing wrong with he said/she said (and their derivatives, such as George shouted/Lisa asked.) They are almost invisible to the reader. The words you choose to give voice to your characters should convey the intent and intensity, the emotion of the dialogue.
7. Terminal punctuation goes inside the quotation marks.
+ “That is all,” he said.
+ He said, “That is all.”
+ “That is all!”
8. For quotes within quotes, use double quote marks (“…”) for the primary speaker, and single marks (‘…’) for the quoted material.
9. Start an new paragraph with each change in speaker.
10. Avoid the “John-Marsha” syndrome. Don’t over-do identifying the speaker. Don’t over-use names between speakers. Remember, dialogue should sound like people talking.
11. Minimize dialectic quirks. Don’t over-hillbilly your hillbillies.
12. Internal monologue/dialogue? No definitive answer. Pick from among these three, but be consistent:
- With quote marks, with tag: “I am alone,” she thought.
- Without quote marks, with tag: I am alone, she thought.
- Italicize, no quote marks, no tag (assumes reader knows which character’s thoughts are expressed): I am alone.
13. For a long spoken passage (single speaker) over multiple paragraphs, begin each paragraph with quote marks, but place closing quote marks only at the end of the last paragraph.
Well, that’s enough to think about for now. I hope these tips help you craft better stories.
Happy Writing!
Marty “He-said” Gorsching
Resources: Strunk and White Elements of Style, Prentice Hall Handbook for Writers, Chicago Manual of Style, Writers Digest Magazine
*THE CISCO KID
Album : The World Is A Ghetto
(written by War)
War - 1973
